Last week my husband said these words to me when I was getting in my own head: “YOU ARE the person you think you are.” That was all it took to get me out. I’m a deep thinker by nature. And I mean a deep thinker. When the workout starts to hurt, I hear this voice that’s laughing at me saying, “who do you think you are?! You’re not an athlete!” or “go home, you have better things to do there.” I always hear of people in the fitness industry of their long line of success in competitive sports and athletics. I’m hear to tell you that’s not me. I’ve never been into “sports” as a kid or an adult. I was a cheerleader throughout high school and a competitive dressage rider. Every decent horseback rider knows that riding is so much deeper than a sport… it’s a relationship between animal and human. Dressage is all about concentration, intention, and precision for the rider. I’ve never ran laps or done drills to prepare myself for a ride. I was a country kid who threw around hay bales and that was the closest thing I got to lifting weights. I was never really good at anything except for horses. All I’ve ever REALLY known is horses.

Even though I didn’t do track, play softball, soccer, etc... I thought I was capable of more. I have a heart for this. But, when I stepped into the gym, I couldn’t have felt smaller. I thought the “athletes” had an upper hand, and I was right. Athletes are used to being in uncomfortable situations and training their bodies to push the limits. Whereas, I was used to talking to an animal via leg and occasionally (sometimes frequently) getting thrown off. Two very different worlds.

As you can imagine, I started from square one. I had to completely rewire my mind. I had to constantly talk myself into not being afraid for an hour and a half. Some days, I still have to do this, and I’m sure you can relate. Then I realized that I was literally more afraid of a rower than a 1,000-pound animal. It was like a lightbulb went off. The rower isn’t going to kill me. From then on, things started to progress. I stopped comparing myself and started working. The kettlebells started feeling lighter, my lungs weren’t getting crushed during intervals. I was getting faster and stronger.

I’m the type of person who focuses on the “why” with every single thing I do. Why am I doing this? Why am I doing all this work? Why do I want a sub 8-minute 2k? Why do I want to deadlift 2x my body weight? When it comes to the gym, the answer is always: growth. There comes a point, where you have to choose between staying the same or making this a lifestyle. It’s not just working out to be healthy anymore, you have goals in the gym. You can be comfortable using the same weights, going the same pace and watch everyone else progress. OR, you can become something you’ve never consider yourself: an athlete.